Today is day 10 post-surgery. Had a rough night with little sleep, followed by a day of feeling out of sorts. Nothing is “right” - my schedule, activities, rituals, relationships, mobility, attitude. I feel like this blender pinhole photo - mixed up, some parts inside out and up side down. This photo was taken at the start of the COVID pandemic when the children’s playground near my house was closed, taped off.

The blender pinhole camera is a circular tin (like a cookie tin) with three pinholes. The film is wound around a spindle in the center of the tin. The pinholes are covered with magnets and are opened individually. Images from the three pinholes are blended together (hence the name blender pinhole camera) and become distorted because of the curved film surface.

My life this past 2.5 weeks also has become distorted. Awake at 4:00 a.m., then asleep from 9:00 a.m. to noon. Some days I don’t change out of my pajamas. To accomplish everyday tasks such as brushing my teeth or washing my hair, I balance on one leg. I can make a sandwich for lunch, but can’t carry it to the table. I can pour myself a drink, but can’t bring it with me to the family room.

Am hoping that my world sorts itself out as I recover and start t bend my leg and then walk again.